they still will hold my hand

ah, motherhood-
the years fly by
and the days can last forever

but they don't.
they won't.

the endless surprises
long eyelashes
gorgeous giggles
unsuspecting songs sung
sight of them sleeping
aches my heart huge in good.

then there's the less beautiful
sick in the night
siblings who fight
hard questions
stubborn hearts
sadness and madness
ugly of me that shows plain & big
-faults all right here on display.

but they still will hold my hand
grabbed absentmindedly, as if it's the
most natural thing
in
the
world
(which it is.)

they still
crawl into my lap
want to tell me
tell me
i want to know
-let me seek them,
their hearts, words
their thoughts, fears
their hopes, tears

watching the intensity of creating yet another something
of playdough, of yarn, of forts in the yard
oh, all that's wrapped up in those big serious eyes
i can only pray...

whether i am in the next room or
across the globe
let them know
they can grow
but in my
love
found in
this love
God's love
best love
they'll always find

a home.